A boner in the back is not foreplay.

That's what I heard on Oprah Monday.

The show was called "The Secret Life of Moms" and featured Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile, whose most recent book is I'd Trade My Husband for a Housekeeper.

Motherhood, they say, was more overwhelming than they expected. "It was like a bomb hit us," Amy says. "I didn't feel I had permission to talk about how hard motherhood really was."

Trisha and Amy set out to see if other mothers shared their struggles. After interviewing hundreds of women, they published I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids, based on their findings.

My perspective: I agree with this. People don't talk about how hard motherhood really is. Absolutely it's the most rewarding experience ever but it is also challenging beyond what words can convey. Just read Anne Lamott, one of the few authors who is brutally candid about it. One mom told Amy and Trisha, "I love being a mom, I just hate doing it because it is an impossible job." I so get this. We expect to over deliver in every aspect of our lives.

When Eldest Daughter was a few weeks old Dave went back to work. One afternoon, not long after that, I had a complete meltdown. I called my own mother, who was at work, and begged her to come over so I could nap. Fortunately she did and I eventually learned to take care of the baby myself. Here's a picture of my mom helping feed the littlest pinks. She's still in her work clothes so I'm thinking she came over straight from work. I hope we fed her dinner.

I run really fast from uber mommies, those people I met in playgroups whose children only eat organic food and who didn't allow their children to watch TV until the American Academy of Pediatrics-recommended age of two. I am a freak: a suburban working-mother-of-three who genuinely enjoys what she does professionally and does not believe that her children are being damaged because of it. I believe it sets a good example for our three daughters. Girl power and all. The Pinks are 7 and 11 now so they're harder mentally than they are physically. Still, when they were little I would never have guessed that the thing I'd most want was 30 minutes in the bathtub all by myself.

Some of the better stories from Oprah included:

• The mom who relieved herself into a diaper while driving instead of pulling into a rest stop and risking waking her sleeping children.
• The mom who confesses "I really don't enjoy the early mornings or the plastic toys. I don't do arts and crafts, I don't do pipe cleaners, I don't do cotton balls or scissors."
• The mom who now tells her amorous husband, "that's now a point of exit, not entry."
• The mom who says that she drinks "wine, a lot of wine, every night after the kids are in bed."

I do find it surprising that women of all kinds relate to Oprah, even though her life is much different than theirs. Surely I was not the only one to notice the mega-carat diamond earrings, pictured above, that she sported on the show. Oprah has always said that she has a huge amount of respect for moms and that she doesn't have what it takes to be a mom. Maybe that, coupled with her seemingly genuine affection, is why we love her?