September 6, 2014

This was Thing 1 and Thing 2's big day, the day they celebrated their entry into Jewish adulthood. We did the service at our house, in our backyard looking out at the golden foothills of Mt. Diablo.

On Friday came the deliveries: the 225 chairs, the risers, the chafing dishes, the sweets. It was surprisingly easy to fit all of those chairs in our yard. We'd planned to seat overflow in the family room, looking out to the yard, and also in our upstairs bedroom, overlooking the yard. The upstairs seating didn't end up being necessary but a few people did sit inside, presumably to get of of the direct sun. Fifty people were easily seated under the shade of the pavilion.

A few weeks earlier we'd had 200 people in the yard for a BBQ for local incoming San Diego State freshmen so we knew the space would work out fine. The weather, I wasn't so sure of until a few days prior when we saw that the forecast was for sunny skies and warm temps but not super hot temps. We were prepared for the sun with bottled water and sunscreen available to people as they entered and throughout the service. If it were a few degrees warmer, out would have come the soccer canopies!

I loved having this simcha at home and would recommend it. I created custom siddurs (prayer books) online then printed them out. This gave us the flexibility to include the songs and readings that were meaningful to us. The service was on the shorter side, perhaps 75 or 90 minutes, which was comfortable. We were able to video tape the service because it wasn't in a synagogue. Two guitars played by one rabbi and one rabbi's son provided beautiful music. Rabbi Rick encouraged people to get up and move around if they needed to get out of the sun or get water. That's another thing you can't easily do if you're in a synagogue.

The women in our family all wore white, which is traditional on shabbat. Shabbat is referred to as the Sabbath Bride.

My parents got Things 1 and 2 each a tallis, which they picked out on a shopping trip with my mom. You can see these prayer shawls in the pictures. Only Jewish adults can wear them.

Thing 1's d'var Torah (speech) was very funny because her section of the Torah portion included the laws around prostitution, which she didn't want to talk about. Nor did she want to talk about the conditions under which a man whose twig or berries are injured can enter a house of worship.  In case you're wondering, the answer is never. In the end and after some awkward moments and terse discussion, she decided to talk about the necessity of rules and how her portion was about things that, if made into a movie, she would not even be old enough to see it.

Thing 2's d'var Torah was about rules, too, and she let everyone know how ironic it was that her portion was about rules since she isn't very good at following them. The picture below at right is of Thing 2 reading from the Torah itself.

At the end of the service Eldest Daughter surprised her sisters with a pelting of wrapped candies thrown by the handful from the fists of guests with pent up energy from sitting still through the service. Thing 1 screamed and crawled under the bimah to get out of the line of fire. Then the little kids hopped up and gathered up all the candy to eat, pinata-style. The candy represents the sweetness of the occasion.

Rabbi Rick does the hamotzi in a way that everyone connects to each other -- physically. A few people hold the 4 foot long challah and then everyone touches a part of another person until everyone is attached. Then he leads the blessing and the challah gets ripped apart from every angle. Some families cut the challah into nice neat slices. We are a family of rippers and tearers. (In my opinion, the only reason to slice challah is if you are making French Challah for breakfast.) This particular challah had sprinkles on it, something that Dave feels strongly about. The blessing over the wine used wine we saved from Eldest Daughter's Bat Mitzvah four years earlier. Those of you who attended her Bat Mitzvah might remember that we used wine from our wedding for that.

A few of Thing 1's dance teammates are Jewish and it was neat to see them explaining the traditions to those not in the know. One of Thing 2's secular friends sat right up front so she could catch every last word. One Jewish adult friend, who should have known better, chatted with the person next to him throughout the service. Another napped. People brought young children who were not invited. The young children squirmed, as was age-appropriate. All but one of the great aunts and uncles came. My mom's siblings were in town for a full week so we were fortunate enough to spend additional time with them.

Immediately following the service we had a kiddush, which is light snacks. We served some of our favorite foods, including bagels, lox and cream cheese, strawberries, watermelon, chicken salad sandwiches, Claire's lemon cupcakes, my mother's three-layer brownies and my mother-in-law's fudge, almost none of which we got to eat because we were socializing and just being proud. People hung out for about an hour, the tween set popping picture after picture of themselves all dolled up.

At one point the little kids hopped in the neighbor's golf cart and attempted to drive down the street. Fortunately the rabbi's son, who is 16 and licensed, clued into this joy-ride-to-be and gave the littles a short ride to placate them.

Here's one especially good picture of the tweens.  Look how gorgeous this group is! That morning I'd asked Thing 2 to put on shoes. Apparently she went into my closet and took a pair of mine that matched her dress. I'm loving that we wear the same size shoes these days. One clever mom popped a similar picture and then turned it into a card prior to the party. Best card ever!