Far, far away

Eldest Daughter, who is 11, is at sleep-away camp. This is her third year so we've got the drill down. Still, I'd forgotten how much work I have to do for her to have the best two weeks of her summer.

1. Beginning in November when next summer's schedule comes out, coordinate with other campers' parents to find out when previous years' favorite bunkmates are going.

2. Convince child that two weeks is plenty -- she can go for longer when she gets older.

3. Schedule doctor's appointment for physical and for health release forms to filled out. Ask husband to take her to said appointment so I don't have to sit through shots with her.

4. Evaluate contents of closet so we know what to shop for. Query child why she has to have an outfit in every color of the rainbow. (The answer: the Color Wars game.)

5. Remind child that she cannot bring her cell, iPod or digital camera. Using best stern face, and repeat when she says her bunkmates are bringing them even though she signed a form saying they were against camp rules and that she would not bring them.

6. Mail her a letter three days before camp starts so she is the first one in her cabin to receive mail.

7. Shop for additional items of clothing and toiletries. Tell her we cannot do a spur-of-the-moment shopping trip with favorite bunkmate from last year because she lives 105 miles away.

8. Iron labels on all clothing items we hope come home with her.

9. Print address labels for the friends and family she thinks she will write letters to. Insist she does not pre-stamp the envelopes because history has shown how many will actually be written.

10. Email friends and family her camp snail mail address. Encourage them to write her as mail is a big deal at camp.

11. Throw all items in bright turquoise rolling duffel. Take iPod out of pocket where she has hidden it.

12. Drop her off at bus stop. Try not to be offended when she hops out of the car to join her friends and doesn't look back. (Best practice: carpool to bus stop next year so only one parent has to have their feelings hurt.)

13. Relax for 24 hours knowing she is still not thinking about us at all.

14. Pack and mail care package. It cannot contain food, even sewn into a stuffed animal, as she has suggested. This year's contents include: black nail polish that her father would never let her wear and nail polish remover, Abercrombie shorts, tween magazines M, Twist and J-14, three lip glosses, book of jokes and most coveted item of all: pillowcase that her friends have written greetings on with puffy fabric paint.

15. Try not to mope around the house until her return feeling like I'm missing an appendage.

I'm such a good mother.