Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The List

This is fast becoming The Bat Mitzvah Blog, isn't it?!

Eldest Daughter's Bat Mitzvah invitations mailed. I cannot believe how complex the invitation list was.

Some of it was easy: her friends, our close family friends, the g/dparents, her B'nai Mitzvah class, the immediate family. The rest was murky.

The guiding principal was to invite people that Eldest Daughter has a relationship with. As much as we love you, if you are walking down the street next to Eldest Daughter and she does not know your name, it's unlikely you will find a bright pink envelope in your mailbox.

This is tricky when it comes to relatives. I invited a cousin who I have been close to since childhood. She lives in San Diego. Yet I did not invite her parents, who are in Northern California, and whose last visit with my family I cannot remember. You can only imagine what my mother had to say about this. I invited my first cousins although only one has a relationship with Eldest Daughter. We have been invited to their children's B'nai Mitzvahs. Except, oddly, for the one she knows and was so happy we invited.

Let's talk about the neighbors. Danville first. We are closer to some than to others. Yet it seems rude to invite most of a social group and not all of it. Eldest Daughter knows them but they do not have a relationship with her. Now Tahoe. We didn't invite any of them because it's a prime winter weekend and they all ski race. Yet Eldest Daughter has a relationship with them. Exactly how do I apply logic here?!

My mother-in-law is fabulous with these things. She asked to invite no one. She knew that if she invited even one friend then those she didn't invite would be hurt. It was all or nothing for her. Thank you Linda.

Eldest Daughter's list changed daily until the invites actually mailed. I tried to keep my mouth shut. There are a few girls on the list who I would rather she not have invited based on Mean Girl things actions in years past. And then there's another big fear: will the under 18s come to the party and not the Bat Mitzvah service, not understanding that the service is the big deal and that the party is the icing on the cake?!

Who would have guessed that this part of the planning would be so hard?!


Polka Dot Moon said...

I think you need to write a book when all is said and done!

Neeracha T. said...

OK, I'm a little behind in my blog reading - this is hilarious. I don't envy you!