SOS - Save our School

Our elementary school is not going to close. But class size may go up again and we may lose music, the full-time librarian I have issue with and PE if we don't solve our budget issue. How a school that feeds into a high school where 98% of graduates go on to four-year-colleges faces these issues is beyond me. Still, it's the talk of the town.

Our wonderful principal, who sadly came to our school two years ago just when the going got rough, sent out an email asking if people had fundraising ideas. Being wacko an out-of-the-box thinker, I suggested the following:

• A $10K donation allows the parent to choose their child's teacher the following year.
• A $250 donation allows the parent to request that a child not have a specific teacher the following year. $250 also buys the right to have your child not in a class with another child you predetermine.
• $100 buys you out of an unexcused absence. You don't have to lie and say Little Bobby is under the weather when truly he's under a cabana on Kaanapali Beach.
• $100 and Little Bobby can bring in sweets on his birthday, something that is now against district policy.
• $1K and Little Bobby can announce the Pledge of Allegiance over the intercom.
• $250 buys Little Bobby the right to pull the week's ABC cards.
• $250 and Little Bobby can skip the semi-annual timed mile run.

We'll see if they take any of my suggestions. Do you think I should give up my day job?!